6 months later...



It has been 6 months since my husband has been home. 6 months done with the USMC. *click here to see our homecoming post* =) 6 months of being not just a military family, but a disabled veteran family now. Finding others similar to us isn't he easiest in our area. So it has been a big shock for me, someone who was very involved and comfortable in the "military family/community" aspect that life on base brings.

The job side of things has been one of the biggest struggles. In April he ended up getting a seasonal job as maintenance at a golf course. I remind him all the time there is no shame in a day of good work but he is still unhappy.

Multiple interviews, at least 1-3 every other week, has still shown up as dead ends. He has been as honest as possible, and when asked why he left the comfortable military life (it shows on his resume as honorably discharged), he will tell them the truth-he is a disabled veteran. Even though it is against the law to discriminate, it's funny how sometimes he will be on a second interview, sometimes even (an unheard of to me) third interview and once he mentions any disability they're thankful but never contact him again. He is considering keeping that little bit of info under wraps to try and see if that gets him any farther. *SW MICHIGAN WORKS* are very enthusiastic and helpful, they give us so much hope about "veteran-friendly" workplaces. I know they're out there, but finding the right one has just been hard. I've gotten to the point I have to try so hard to force some excitement and hopefulness to him when he has another interview, but I know my attitude has to be rubbing off and not helping him any.

By law, a workplace has to allow a disabled veteran attend his V.A appointments. And with my husband guaranteed at least 2-3 a month, I can understand from the employer-side why they would rather have someone else who would have a better chance attending work. Even though it hurts our pride when that someone else they choose is less qualified for the job than my husband.

As a huge change in our family, I started working at the end of July. My job is also partly seasonal, with it slowing down in November and picking back up in February. So this past week I have been looking for a SECOND job. Many friends/family have told me "but now you're going to be even more tired, and see your son even less"! I understand that fully, and it pains me a little but we have to do what's necessary. Just like so many Americans struggling out there. I know I'm not the first, nor the last. I have so much respect for others, and single parents especially, out there.

He has another appointment this Tuesday, and I'm praying the hardest I have in a year. Any good vibes readers have to send would be greatly appreciated!

Breaking transDawn

The other day I had a chance to interview a friend named Dawn, who has graciously allowed me a glimpse into her currently double life. Why? Dawn is currently still male, and has finally become more open about her transgender life. I mentioned this Tuesday during my food for thought blog *here*, please have a read.

I am going to try my best to keep this as clean cut as possible, focusing on the interview and not adding any of my own comments/opinions.
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Interview 1: Dawn. March 2012.

Why did you choose the name Dawn?
-One day with my good friend whom I had just "come out" to, told me if I was going to be serious about this I needed a "name." We were in the arts&crafts section of a store, she threatened to pick a letter and I would then have to choose a name from it whatever popped into my head first. Quickly my eyes were drawn to the letter "D" first, and Dawn just came to me. I like it because it is simplistic yet has so many meanings.

What memory stands out the most to you?
-At the moment, just a short time after coming out I'm just being happy.
When I was the age of 7 they had commercials on TV all the time about designing your own Barbie. I had begged my family to let me do it, they agreed if I saved up the money on my own. I never did make it but they had been okay with that idea.

How far will you go?
-Depends. State law mandates I have at least 1 year of therapy. I would like to go all the way but the risks make me cautious. So maybe just stop at hormones & cosmetics.

There has been growing interest in the media about the transgender community, do you watch?
-I don't keep up with TV. But if a post pops up on the news for my yahoo page, then I might read it. Most of the things I learn about what the media says about transgenders comes from a social website I'm apart of, fetlife. A majority of the news seems to think and talk about "eh, they're just there" that stands out to me. It disappoints me when people think it's a disease. They're just ignorant. My own grandmother thinks you can do what you want with your life, but in the end you will be punished in the afterlife. I have a long way to go before I have the worries of the public eye turned towards me. But haters are going to hate.

Do you have any more "chick" oriented guilty pleasures? Like shows or movies? I don't meant to offend and have the closed mind that just because you feel you are a girl that automatically means you're into "girly" things, but I have known you when you were still male, I'm just curious.
- =) The movie Anastasia & PDA

Did you have any 2012 resolutions? Did you stick to them?
-My fitness & health. Trying to find more venues for my business or just a new job. And yes.

Who are some of your idols?
- They vary widely. Johnny Depp inspires me with my love of theater. I have 2 trans idols, one who I do not know the name of but her life story was inspring. The other is Nong Toom, a very good boxer. And for fitness & life: A BriBri indian I met while in Costa Rica. He was over 100 years old yet only looked 50, and completely dependant on himself. To be able to just depend on yourself is awesome & inspiring.

You've mentioned a few times your newly found transgeder life as a "condition"...why? Do you have doubts?
-In the big book of problems it's called a condition. I haven't found the proper word to describe it for me personally.

What spurred you to finally start the transition when you have "known" for almost all your life that you was a girl inside?
-For the majority of my childhood I didn't pursue my feelings because my family said it wasn't how boys were suppose to behave. They always told me once I was 18 I could do what I want, and that stuck with me. When I was 19 and in college I felt I could be free to be myself. I thought "oh well" to anyone's disapproval. Sometimes I wish I had spoken up sooner, but I'm overall glad I waited until I was 19 to come out. I would have lost my composure if I had been 9 years old and invited to a slumber party, then sent home because i wasn't a "real girl" (for that story, visit Janet Mock's blog *here*).

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Thank you Dawn, for this opportunity. I wasn't expecting to blog about this, but I'm glad to have had this chance. For more about Dawn's life & some pretty neat game reviews, check out her blog: *TransGamer Dawn*

FFT: the New Segregation

Food For Thought, Tuesday March 6th

The New Segregation

seg·re·gate [v. seg-ri-geyt; n. seg-ri-git, -geyt]
1. to separate or set apart from others or from the main body or group; isolate.

When you mention the word segregationg, people automatically think about race, back to a time before the 1960's where people went to seperate schools, different "rooms."
Allow to bring you to modern day segregation: the LGBT community. Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender. As a whole, most of the nation, media, politics seperate them from us, like they aren't human beings. Some of my dearest friends, and closest friends growing up were LG or B. I didn't realize, until a few days ago, there was a T in their midsts. One has opened up and trusted me with their story. She has agreed to be interviewed, to further educate and open up minds---to draw close that "gap."

Sad thing is, even in the LGBT community, Transgenders are often the 'odd ones out'. Sometimes they're segregated withing their own, supposedly all loving community. I'm not trying to sway peoples minds, tell you what to think, what is right or wrong or what God may have said or wants us to do. I'm just telling it like it is. The interview will be posted on Friday. I hope you read it. Remember the little rabbit Thumper from Bambi: If you have nothing nice to say, don't say it at all.